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I was playing tennis the other day and had inspiration for another blog post. Yes, another post related to tennis (one of my favorite activities and in my opinion a great sport for increasing mental toughness and resiliency)! I was playing tennis against a player that hits the tennis ball in a much different style than me. I was trying to figure out the best way to play against her and I started to match her playing style instead of playing my way. This went horribly. I started losing points right and left that I should have won and I became very frustrated. After losing for a while, I took a break and told myself to breathe and think. Why was I changing to match someone else? Why was I scared to play my way? I was limiting myself and my abilities because of fear of making mistakes. I realized that I needed to play the game my way, with my own style. Once I started to be myself and play tennis the way that felt genuine and right to me, I started doing so much better. I eventually won that game. I definitely would not have made a comeback if I hadn’t changed strategies. The moral of this story is that it’s important to be ourselves. I know we’ve all heard this before, but I think it’s a good reminder. When we try to go through life morphing and adapting into someone else’s way we are not being our true selves. When we are not being ourselves we are not optimizing our strengths. I encourage you to look at the strengths you already have, I guarantee you already have many! Go through life as you and not someone else. Be your best self. Thanks for reading! Rondale “Always do what you are afraid to do”. This quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson is one of my favorite quotes of all time. One of the reasons why I like this quote is because it reminds me that I can still chose to do things in spite of my fear. Anxiety can feel debilitating at times and like it’s limiting our life. I commonly work with people that want to work on their goals and make changes in their life. Unfortunately for those struggling with anxiety it can often feel like their anxiety is getting in their way. One of the things I recommend is to break things down into much smaller steps and tackle each small step one at a time. This can help things feel less overwhelming. Counseling can be very helpful for this. People can learn skills to manage their anxiety and the anxiety can definitely get better. However, sometimes there is still some remaining anxiety and fear, especially when it comes to making big decisions in our lives, such as changing jobs or going back to college. But as Ralph Waldo Emerson states, “Always do what you are afraid to do”. This quote reminds me that I can still take steps towards positive change in my life even if I am afraid. We can still make progress and take steps in spite of our anxiety and fears. As I commonly tell my clients, it’s okay to have strong emotions, we are human, we are not robots. It’s what we do with those emotions that matters. If we feel very strongly about making a positive change in our life, we can still do it in spite of our fear. Thanks for reading! Rondale So many times I still see and hear about the stigma with mental health issues. How many times must we hear that “it’s not real” or that people with mental illness could “just get over it” or that they “should just move on with their lives”. How many times do we need to hear this? I’m tired of misperceptions and the stigma associated with mental illness and receiving mental health treatment. It’s time to clarify some things.
Would we tell someone with diabetes that they don’t really need their insulin? Would we tell someone with cancer that they don’t really need treatment? Would we tell someone that wears glasses that they don’t really need their glasses if they just tried harder to see? Of course not! So why do we do this with mental health issues like anxiety and depression? It’s okay to need help and get treatment, just like it’s okay to need eyeglasses if you can’t see or medication if you are sick. Let’s get real with some facts. 1 in 5 adults in America experience a mental illness. That’s 20 percent! If you are struggling with a mental illness, you are not alone! If you have a friend or family member struggling with a mental illness, they are not alone. Let’s stop the stigma one person at a time. I’ll start: I go to a doctor when I’m sick. I take medication when I need to. I wear eyeglasses because I need them. I’ve received mental health treatment from a counselor. It’s okay to need medical help and it’s okay to need help with our mental health. Let's break down the stigma together. Thanks for reading! -Rondale One of the things that I like to do in my spare time is listen to podcasts that inspire me and encourage my own personal growth and development. Recently I listened to this podcast and I liked it so much I wanted to share it. The podcast is The Happy Secret to Better Work by Shawn Anchor, a psychologist who studies and researches positive psychology, which is essentially the study of good things -- people’s happiness, strengths, love, optimism, resiliency and more (aka the positive things in life).
I love this podcast because 1) it’s hilarious and 2) it has some excellent points. Shawn talks about how much our perspective influences how we respond to our life circumstances. I see the importance of this so much in my own life and in my work as a counselor. How we chose to think about things can be so influential. Our society constantly bombards us with negative news and stories of doom and gloom. This can lead us to focus even more on the negative and miss out on seeing the good things in our lives, in others, and in our society. What if we decided to try to notice more of the positive? What if we decided to focus more on our strengths rather than our weaknesses? I believe that every person and child that comes into my office has strengths that we can use and build on in counseling. I think it’s very easy and natural to focus more on the negative, especially when we are struggling and having a hard time. I totally understand that! It isn’t easy for me either. But even in the midst of hard times our perspective on it can make a huge difference. I encourage you to listen to this podcast and see what you think. Thanks for reading! -Rondale Anxiety can be experienced in many different ways and there are several different types of anxiety disorders, but a lot of the symptoms of anxiety overlap. In this blog post I will talk about some of the common symptoms of anxiety and a few free online resources that may be helpful. Here are some of the symptoms of anxiety I commonly see in my office: Difficulty falling and/or staying asleep Irritability Difficulty concentrating Stomach and digestive issues Difficulty controlling worrying Avoiding people, places, or things that trigger the anxiety Nightmares/bad dreams Racing thoughts Muscle tension Headaches Chest tightness In children, sometimes anxiety can look a little different. Children will often complain of physical complaints, such as stomach aches. They may go to the nurse at school frequently or ask to go home or call home more often than other kids their age. They may want to stay home from school more often than typical or have trouble sleeping in their own room. The good news is there is treatment for anxiety. If you are interested in learning more about anxiety and strategies you can use to help cope with anxiety, AnxietyBC is an excellent website and a great resource. There is a ton of information on the website about anxiety and resources to help with it. AnxietyBC created a free self-help app called MindShift which includes information about anxiety, strategies to deal with it, and relaxation exercises. Another one of my favorite apps to help anxiety is InsightTimer which is a free relaxation and meditation app. If you are concerned that you or your child has anxiety, I highly recommend talking with a counselor. Counseling can be very useful in helping you learn skills and strategies to deal with the anxiety. Thanks for reading! -Rondale |
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November 2023
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Contact MeRondale Felix, MS, CMHS, LMHC, NCC
Phone: (360) 888-3776 Email: rondalefelix@sandandstonecounseling.com |
Sand and Stone Counseling, PLLC
719 Sleater Kinney Rd SE, Suite 212 Lacey, WA 98503 |